I was trying to summarize this ep’s plot, and it sounded like one of those dreams you have after taking benadryl and eating pepperoni, anchovies, pineapple pizza. Trippy, to say the least. It sounded something like this: It’s the ep where Angela meets Nessie and they spend the whole episode bonding, while Sevarius is using a leviathan robot sub to try to catch another Nessie so he can make more monsters, despite the fact that he can make perfect clones in less than 12 months, and is able to meld eel cat bat DNA with humans to create creatures even more impressive than gargoyles. It’s basically a snark, sarcasm, and witticism orgy for Sevarius. Welcome to Monsters, or The Ode to Tim Curry, as I call it.
Miss last week’s ep? Read Kingdom episode review.
Spoilers are in the 20/20 moments. Info from Ask Greg is in the According to Greg bits.
Season 2, Episode 27: Monsters
Reason(s) for existence: Greg ate a bad burrito. We need more Tim Curry in our lives. To confirm Angela’s parentage. To introduce another legendary creature. To show that “all monsters are human.” To reinforce the importance of relationships.
Main antagonist(s): Dr Anton Sevarius, Bruno and Co
Time(s): January 17th, 1996
Location(s): Loch Ness, Scotland
Here We Go Again
That summary bit up there? Seriously, that’s the episode right there. So for this one-shot review, don’t expect a whole lot about the protagonists. It’s basically Goliath and Elisa trying to find Angela, while Angela pets Nessie.
According to Greg: There’s a lot wrong with this ep, but he likes it overall. I like Sevarius. Who doesn’t!
For the second time during this world tour, we open with the skiff rocking around because a leviathan bumps it. This one’s metal, though. It disappears.
Turns out Avalon has sent the group to Loch Ness, in Scotland. Elisa phones Matt, finally, and lets him know she’s fine.
But this is the 1990s, and his answering machine’s tape is full.
Tour guides hound her as she heads back to the gang.
Since our fearless heroes still don’t understand the whole “Avalon sends you where you need to be” deal, they get back in the skiff. Not so fast! There’s a hump in the water.
Elisa is painfully skeptical, saying it’s all a show put on by the tourist boat companies. Wait, you just saw a Child of Oberon turn into not only a leviathan, but also a Thunder Bird! Yet you think this is a trick. Is it just because you don’t want to admit that Matt and all the loonies out there were right? I guess I can understand that.
The monster crashes into a tour boat, knocking a hole in the vessel. So much for it being a show. It also flips the skiff. Angela sinks, and despite Goliath and Bronx’s efforts, she’s eaten. But not by flesh and blood. No, a metal sea monster swallows her.
She’s now a guest of…Bruno and the Xanatos Enterprises security forces! Heeeey, does this mean we’ll see Xanatos? Let it be!
What this means, assuming Bruno and the gang aren’t freelancing while wearing the XE tactical gear, is that Xanatos has a hand in whatever’s going on. It’s pretty obvious that the thugs are after Nessie. I can only assume it would make a great addition to Sea World or some other repository of curiosities. Beyond that, I don’t know why Xanatos would invest the colossal amounts of capital it would require to design, manufacture, and operate a secret sea monster sub in Loch Ness. Maybe the creature has the key to immortality? Now that David would totally spend his greenbacks on!
The sub pulls into a lovely underground docking facility. It’s amazing!
The sub docks. Sevarius greets them over the intercom, asking if they have “Big Daddy.” What, the guy who owns Big Daddy’s Bail Bonds and Used Cars? No, apparently it’s another Nessie. Without his companionship, the monster they have isn’t long for this world. Talk about codependent!
The animators go through a lot of effort to hide Sevarius’s identity for as long as possible. Why? You can’t mistake his voice. And by this time, any viewer of the show will be very familiar with him. Heck, we just saw him not long ago in The Cage! Literally.
He threatens to send Bruno back to Xanatos if the merc doesn’t capture Big Daddy. So…is Xanatos actually bankrolling this? Or is he a partner with Anton? That would be a good twist.
Sevarius is excited about seeing another gargoyle, since he thinks it’s a new clan. He tells Bruno to collect the usual cell samples, then put her in the grotto. Bruno is shocked by the last order. I guess the grotto isn’t exactly Candy Mountain, Charlie. (Or is it? There IS a magical Liopleurodon there.)
As Sevarius speaks, he plays with the unconscious Angela’s hair. It’s creepy.
Goliath and Co wash up on shore. Elisa guesses their must be a sub dock somewhere.
Angela wakes up in the grotto with the Loch Ness monster. Well now, you don’t get to type a sentence like that very often! Of course the gargoyle and dino bond.
According to Greg: There IS a garg clan at Loch Ness. They’re supposed to protect the monsters. Wow, talk about falling down on the job!
Sevarius saves the day with, “If it gets any more saccharine in there, I’m going to put a finger down my throat.”
Thanks to Sevarius’s dictated report, we learn that Nessie was not doing well without her mate, Big Daddy. But now she’s doing better. Sevarius also finds Angela fascinating.
Back in down, Elisa sees Bruno’s gang getting supplies at the local store. She jumps in the truck bed and rides along.
Note: Elisa coins the term Xanatos Goon Squad. So very 1990s.
Now Anton plans to put a tracker on the female monster, let her loose, follow her, then capture both sea monsters. Yes, it’s dumb. No, it doesn’t sound like a Xanatos plot. Yes, the writers needed to think this through more.
We also learn that Angela is Goliath’s daughter. This is presented as some sort of big reveal, but really, were you surprised? She looks like him and Demona. Plus, this IS a TV series, so of course the family tie-in would be strong. Having her be just another random garg would fall flat.
Now, why I Sevarius doing all this? He wants the two sea monsters as breeding stock. More Nessies means more genetic material for monster making.
Slow down! So you have some dino DNA. Big deal. It’s cool, but it’s not like you walked into Jurassic Park and were given a free pass to their genetic stock. He’d be better off trolling the ocean depths for the weird creatures there. There are so many animals out there, that I find this reason for capturing Nessie very weak.
Because this is such an incredibly lame reason, I question whether this endeavor was 100% Xanatos-funded. As I mentioned earlier, the price would be “astronomical.” From what we’ve seen of the Mutates and the Pack, conventional animals provide enough diversity for the monster making. Would David really consider investing this much cash to catch both Nessies, um, necessary? Unlike his pursuit of immortality, monster making is not his obsession. I’d go so far as to suggest that after the failure of the Mutates project and the humiliating defeat at the hands of Thailog – a defeat that almost cost David his life, along with the $20 million – Xanatos will put those types of projects on hold indefinitely. Plus, he has his unborn kid to fulfill him in the “let’s create life!” department. I almost wonder if this Nessie project was funded partly by the Illuminati?
Elisa, Goliath, and Bronx find the entrance to the underground facility. In his infinite wisdom, Sevarius lets them in. Whyyyy? Well, he thought he could take them out, despite all the evidence to the contrary. How many times do we let things into our lives that we really, really shouldn’t, all because we think we can handle them? Don’t get cocky. Remember your past and the experiences of others. Learn from them. Take risks, yes, but don’t be an idiot.
Actually, he does manage to capture them! Wow. Good work. Sevarius is thrilled with their capture, reveling in the fact that his facility has a “dungeon.” It even has torches!
Being a good typical villain, Sevarius leaves to do his dirty work, putting the lone Bruno in charge of guarding the captives. No surprise, Goliath and Elisa escape. Bronx takes Bruno down. Unfortunately, Bruno accidentally blows a hole in the wall. The facility is made of cardboard and duct tape, apparently, because it starts to flood from this blast.
They all get in a mini sub, which looks like a hammerhead shark crossed with a Nessie.
Sevarius is chasing Nessie. For bait to draw Nessie and Big Daddy within taser range (I’ll get to tasers in a minute. Chill out.) he uses Angela. Yep, he drags her hundreds of feet underwater behind the sub. I just…I can’t even. She’d be dead. The end.
Elisa and G force Bruno to pilot the mini sub. Goliath leaves via the torpedo tube to save Angela, heedless of the effects pressure would have on him.
The mini sub grinds across the other sub, tearing a hole in it, or at least damaging it enough to let water rush in. But the lizards come within range of the sub. Sevarius uses the tasers.
I really don’t know how well this would work underwater. Yes, electric eels work underwater, but would a taser? You need two prongs to land so the power can flow from one to the other. What effect would water have on this? I say he’s better off drugging them like he did with Nessie earlier, then netting ’em.
The sea monster’s struggle with the sub, latching onto its neck. Sevarius and the security forces are in the head section. Their area is flooding.
The Loch Ness monsters drag the sub down into the 900+ foot deep abyss. Aaaand that’s the last we see of Sevarius this ep. Is he dead? Surely not. I mean, he’s Sevarius! Bruno even comments that he has more lives than a cat.
20/20 moment: Did you think he was dead? Were you surprised to see him pop up in Hunter’s Moon?
We wrap up with the gargoyles and Elisa seeing Mr and Mrs Nessie, AND two little ones.
According to Greg: The four members of the XE security forces died in the sub. I find that a little…harsh. Arrest them, maybe, but drown them? They’re just mercenaries. They haven’t committed any atrocities. at least not of their own volition.
According to me: I wonder what effect their deaths had on Bruno? In Awakening, he was pissed off that Goliath and Co had beat up his people at the castle. Now FOUR of his people, basically the whole team, are DEAD. And for what? This was a stupid scheme. They didn’t die in battle, either; they drowned. That’s a nasty way to go. They’ve all been together on this team for a long time. At the very least, they’ve worked together and fought side by side for a year.
Bruno doesn’t show much emotion when the protags have him tied up on shore, but he probably didn’t know his people were dead. Or it hadn’t sunk in. Even a combat-hardened warrior feels something when his brothers and sisters in arms fall. Will he reconsider his job, or at least the jobs he takes, after this? Will we get to see what happens to him?
It’s amazing how often good ideas in our lives turn into disasters. Those disasters have far more influence on our life courses than our successes. In general, anyway.
As for Xanatos, he was probably miffed that his forces were dead, but that irritation would have come because he now has to break in new goons.
I’m not sure what Elisa will do with Bruno. What proof does she have that he was involved in anything? The docking facility was destroyed. Even then, what’s to prove he was part of it? And so what? It’s not illegal to have subs in the Loch as far as I know. They have no proof it caused the tour boat fiasco, or that he was responsible for it. I would also guess the place is in no way traceable to Xanatos or whoever funded it.
Sevarius steals the episode! I didn’t quote many of his lines, because almost every one is a zinger. You really need to watch it and revel in Tim Curry’s delivery combined with Greg and Co’s writing.
It was interesting to see how much importance Angela puts on the fact that Goliath is her dad. Since she grew up with human parents, she’s attuned to the significance of knowing one’s biological parents. Will the revelation about their relationship influence how Angela interacts with Goliath? He knew she was his rookery daughter, and he doesn’t seem to care much about the news of being her bio dad, but maybe the importance will grow on him.
Tune in next Tuesday to see what Halcyon Renard has been up to. We have to go to Prague to find him, though. We’ll also meet a golem. No, not Smeagol…